I remember in December 2007, helping my mother-in-law pick out some things for co-workers at the gift shop in Children's Hospital (to support the hospital, not because anyone we knew was staying there), and saying to her, "I hope none of my kids ever have to come here."
I remember, not even two months later, the doctors telling me that Alexander, only a few hours old, needed to be transferred to Children's Hospital where they were better equipped to take care of him.
I remember Noah and I first arriving at Children's later that night, searching through the dark and empty labyrinth of a hospital for the NICU.
I remember the nurses were surprised to see me there so soon after delivering him (what, did they think I was going to stay in the maternity without my baby??? Heck no.)
I remember asking if I could hold him, but just looking at all the tubes and wires knowing what that answer would be.
I remember the first time I finally did get to hold him, four very long days later.
I remember Noah asking me what I wanted for Valentine's Day and my answer: I wanted to bring Alex home.
I remember the moment the doctor told me I could bring him home the next day- I had learned to not hope too hard for the good news, so when it came I was stunned and thrilled.
I remember driving home that night, knowing that the next time I drove that route I would not be accompanied by my tears but by my baby.
I remember the next morning, waiting for Noah's dad to make it over to watch Claire so that I could go get Alexander. It was sunny and Claire was playing outside. She fell and chipped her front tooth and instead of bursting into tears like I know I would have done had I not had the knowledge of the joyous homecoming soon to happen, I counted my blessings that the whole tooth wasn't knocked out.
I remember the large packet of dismissal papers, to which I was supposed to be paying very close attention, but which was only secondary in my mind to the angel baby in arms.
I remember insisting on changing his outfit to the one I had bought many weeks before as his coming-home outfit. I was determined to bring him home in it even though it was a size too big, hanging far past his hands and swallowing up his tiny body (although he was tall enough for it!!)
I remember taking a picture, thrilled to see a hint of a smile, as if he knew he was coming home. :)
I remember gathering all his things together and strapping his tiny body into the carseat, and thinking back to when I first laid Claire in that very same seat, a first-time mama both anxious and nervous to be going home.
I remember the sweet nurse, helping me wheel him out to the waiting car, posing for pictures with Alex and sharing my joy.
I remember that hat he was wearing- the same hat I had bought for Nathan before he was born. It was so big it would fall down to cover his whole head if I left it to its own devices.
I remember he was kept warm by Claire's hundred-good wishes quilt, since the one I had been making for him was not done yet.
I remember driving home, every bit the new mother, driving well below the speed limit (even more than I already do!) and stopping every chance I got to look back at him, who of course slept soundly the whole way.
I remember videotaping Alexander's first moments at home so that Noah, who was at work, could see it later.
I remember Claire's first reaction- curious, confused and tender.
I remember finally feeling like the family of four that we had been for thirteen days.
I remember my most favorite Valentine's Day present ever. :)
